This is our first draft for our crime thriller opening scene Listen To Me!
At the moment there are many problems with our first draft.
Firstly and most importantly it has been stated by our tester audiences that the two time frames in our film are very hard to separate and it looks as if the detective is chasing the daughter rather than the detective arriving after the crime scene to investigate. To combat this we might have to dismiss our hatred of cliche effects and use a sepia or a desaturation filter effect on the daughter scenes.
To combat misleading the audiences into thinking this is just a father and daughters misunderstanding, we will need to insert a couple of quick shots of her pursuer, but not to give away his identity. It has been understood from most horror and thriller films that by not showing the baddie until later the film is more intense because along with the scares they give the illusion of the unknown which everyone is scared of.
Another thing i found out about our film was that the continuity is not great.
For instance from 1:07 to 1:09 the daughter changes knee on which she falls upon etc.
Another thing is that the acting is not brilliant from the daughter in certain places (losing her shoe) which means that we will have to reshoot, unfortunately to get that scene perfect she will have to change her costume, which in turn forces us to reshoot the whole film. This will also effects our use of props and our detective shots. A definate rethink and shoot needed.
One last thing that is bothering me is that it is hard to recognise that our detective is in fact 'a detective'. This is because rather than putting in our office scene which establishes our detectives character weput our improvised our picture animatic with an audio argument alongside. We may have to completely scrap our animatic and switch it for the unfilmed office scene.